Just read your message and would like to add that my wife and I both use things like racist comments etc as a means of filtering out the people we know we never want to have anything to do with. We have a few quick sharp comments and an attitude that instantly removes them from our future.
I am from Australia and I must say that I am constantly amazed at how racially divided the US is. It appears in news papers, on TV, ….everywhere.
Was recently in Guatemala for our first visit and met a very nice couple from East Coast whose parents were unhappy with their adoption…unbelievably selfish and bigotted was our immediate reaction….good on them for seeing past this sort of thinking and doing the wonderful thing they are doing. It is difficult when you face this sort of thing within your own family but you really need to realize that it is only an ignorant or narrow mind that adopts that attitude and it is one we can all live without. I had to cease all contact with my only sister for similar reasons and now I do not have that negative energy in my life.
Perhaps it would be good to remind them that you are more interested in a childs well being than other peoples negative attitudes and leave it at that. Good luck

Thanks for reminding me about the race issue… It is so easy to look at the incredibly beautiful face and heart of my DD each day and “forget” that others may see something different.

However, just like you, I have not really experienced what I will need to prepare her for. I guess I will just have to be “open” and willing to let her share her feelings and experiences with me when they happen. But I already know it will tear my heart out when someone is mean to her. She is only 18 months old now and just the comments from 5-9 y.o. boys at playgrounds can have me gripping my seat until my knuckles turn white and there are just being normal boys as they call her a “monster” and play keep away. Luckily she is such a social butterfly, full of joy and she giggles and runs full speed ahead to catch them. They soon enjoy her and look for her to play the next time we visit that play area.

I pray she keeps her positive tempermant and joyful attitude about life. Wish I could protect it but will continue to be open to finding ways to deal with the “racism” she will be exposed to.

Thanks again for reminding me it exist.
Reply With Quote

I read your articles and enjoyed them. As for ugly babies — I think most babies look like Winston Churchill and need to grow into their features. My niece looked like ET when she was born (bald head, long neck and big eyes). I used to stand over her crib and touch my finger to her forehead..and say “phooooone home”. Now she’s a lovely young women, with a generous spirit and incredible heart.

I have to say when I saw our baby girl’s referral picture — I was immediately in love. And would like to believe I would have loved her even if she wasn’t the cutie pie that she is. Just because she’s mine

As for racism…I agree…that we all need to be prepared and not bury our heads in the sand, and pretend it doesn’t exist. I have already experienced the “I could never adopt a child that didn’t look like me” and she’s kind of dark…isn’t she” comments. Ugh!

Thanks again for the very insightful articles!