It seems that defending the integrity of Guatemalan adoptions is going to be a challenging aspect of being the parent of a Guatemalan born child. My mother was the first person to question me about the adoption process while I was waiting for Ella to come home. She opened her newspaper one morning to a scathing article about the corruption surrounding Guatemalan adoptions, and wanted to know if I knew about this.

I took a deep breath and told her that yes, there were unethical agencies and lawyers, but that was not the case with our adoption. Each time I am questioned or challenged, I have a different response, and then later on regret having left out an important fact or having said too much. One of my gut reactions is to remind people that there is corruption in adoption from every country, including our own. This is not a good answer, and of course not an excuse, but rather a defensive response. Usually I try to explain to them that Guatemala is going to be making changes in the near future, but that I truly believe that most adoptions from Guatemala are legal and ethical.

On one of the Guatemalan adoption forums, there has been a lot of discussion about corrupt adoptions. Some parents know for a fact that their lawyer and/or their agency were dishonest. They feel guilty and helpless. Others have no idea if their children’s adoptions were done in a legitimate manner, and are very concerned. As much as I respect their concern and angst, I find myself getting impatient. After all, their children are home and what were they going to do about it? To my knowledge, none of them suggested disrupting the adoptions and returning the children to Guatemala.

As a result of this subject appearing repeatedly on the forum, I started to think of this phenomenon as “Guatemalan Adoption Guilt.” I also searched for a solution to help alleviate the pain and guilt some adoptive parents were obviously carrying. After all, this was not healthy for the children, the parents or the family.

Mulling it over, a phrase commonly used about parenting came to mind: We did the best we could at the time with the knowledge and tools we had at our disposal. May I suggest that none of us would have readily agreed to a corrupt adoption? Furthermore, we can all be active in promoting positive changes in the adoption process in Guatemala, WITHOUT making the children victims – there is no need to "throw the baby out with the bath water" after all.

Ella and I spend every day together. I love and cherish her as much as my bio sons, but I never forget that she has a birth mother and a birth country. If our family finances remain stable, I hope to visit Guatemala with her frequently in the future. If she so desires, I will help her find her birth mother. To the best of my knowledge, her adoption was legitimate and legal, and for that I am thankful. In a far from perfect world, I have done the best that I can.