While I was going through the adoption process, there were only a few people I told about our plans. It made it a private journey, but it also saved me from some hurtful, inappropriate remarks that were easier to handle once my little girl was home.

Recently I’ve had many people in the process tell me that “people who haven’t been through it just don’t understand.”

Although this could certainly apply to domestic or international adoption, somehow the adoptions from Guatemala add extra emotional stress to the prospective parents because of the confusing and arbitrary nature of the Guatemalan adoption system and the negative publicity that Guatemalan adoptions have been getting.

Truthfully, you can’t really expect people who haven’t been through this crazy process to understand what gets on your nerves or sends you over the edge. But if anyone reading this post wants to know, don’t keep asking when the baby will finally be home. Why not just suppress your curiosity or simply ask the person how they are doing? That way they can decide how little or how much to tell you.

Many people start adoption blogs, thus explaining the process and keeping everyone up to date on how the adoption is proceeding. No doubt it helps to a certain extent. Truthfully, we want people to care and help us along this emotionally challenging process. It is not an easy one to do alone. That is why we often search out other parents who have been through it; they've been there and done it, and we don't have to give lengthy explanations.

Last Friday I got a call from a wonderful young woman who is adopting from Guatemala. We “found” each other a few months ago in a store when she spotted Ella and told me she was adopting from Guatemala. She called on Friday and started with an apology saying that maybe she was being petty or silly, but she thought that there was a mistake in the date that her dossier was received. This of course affects the order you receive the referral. I told her that she had every right to be upset and to talk to the agency. It was not a problem relating to her sensitivity to this situation; it seemed perfectly logical to me.

If you find that you have no one around that can relate to what you are experiencing, go online and join one of the Guatemalan forums, or find a blogger you can relate to and send her an email. You’ll be surprised how quickly you bond. You can also ask your agency if there is someone you could talk to; most agencies have families who are more than willing to mentor people through this process.

Forums you can join:

Adoption.com

Guatemala Adoption

Guatemalan Adoptions

Photo Credit