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This week has been an interesting one as I see two worlds that otherwise would have never intersected come together through adoption. My wife’s sweet Uncle Tom from Rainelle, West Virginia, passed away this week at the age of 77. I have not been able to write as we traveled up into the mountains of West Virginia to be with her extended family and friends. I paused many times as I watched Mia interact with her cousins and other relatives this week. I was amazed to see the love she exuded for these people and the love she was given in return. It amazes me.
This was the first funeral Mia had ever been to. The morning was bitter cold and snowy. Mia squealed as we drove down the white road with snow blowing on either side. This was her first true snowfall as well. She was excited as we arrived at the church because she loves Sunday School. She smiled as she saw her “Paw Paw” get out from the van next to us.
Kristina quietly looked toward the front of the church with her misty eyes as she thought back over the multitude of memories that were given to her from her Mom’s brother. Our turn came to go and pay final respects to Uncle Tom and we did so together. I held Mia as we drew close.
Mia looked at me and said “Daddy, what’s Uncle Tom doing?” I told her that he wasn’t sick anymore and that he went to be with Jesus. She smiled at that and then looked at her Mommy. With tears coming down her face, my wife looked at Mia and smiled.
Mia said “Mommy, don’t cry, he is better now!” Then Mia looked at Uncle Tom’s face and smiled really big. She said “Uncle Tom give Mia crackers!!” Shortly after Mia’s adoption was complete, Uncle Tom came to North Carolina for medical treatment. When we visited, Mia just absolutely loved him. Uncle Tom shared his cheese crackers with her. Suddenly her precious mind grasped ahold of that memory and she shared it with everyone in the room.
“Night night Uncle Tom” she said quietly and then looked at me and said “Uncle Tom is going night night in his crib.” That’s pretty good for a 2 year old I thought. She prayed for him every night since he had been sick. She has great memories of him. Now she knows he’s not sick anymore. No need to go further.
It’s so sad to hear couples tell of the struggle they’ve had with their own families when they’ve adopted. There is such tremendous joy that people miss out on because of their own ignorance and fears. We have been blessed with a family who has accepted Mia as their own cousin, neice, grandaughter, etc. It is true that she has been enriched by each of them but by far, she has deepened the capacity of their hearts to love. Her smile has brought joy to more faces than most people do in a lifetime. I am thankful for people in our family like Uncle Tom who have opened their heart to Mia and realized that though we adopted her as our daughter, our whole family has brought her in.
It was neat to see my sweet little Guatemalan Princess warm the cold mountains of West Virginia. It was a treasure to see her fit in perfectly to a family she was born more than 1600 miles away from. If only there was a way to let those who may be thinking about her today know that she is loved more and more each day by not only us her parents, but by uncles, aunts, cousins, grandmas, grandpas, etc.
For those of you following this blog, I’m sorry for the time away and the semi-ramble upon return. I just needed opportunity to share the blessing I received this week. Thanks for being an ear…
By the way, a cool book on the extended family and adoption is called Adoption is a Family Affair: What Relatives and Friends Must Know by Patricia Irwin Johnston. Click on the name of the book to learn more or find more books at http://books.adoption.com
