Children are not like produce. You can’t stand in the grocery store, looking through the bin of bananas, trying to pick the perfect bunch, moving the bananas to the side that are too brown or too green. With children, you get…what you get.
With both my daughters, I never chose the child that would be mine. Elle’s first picture came in a FedEx package and Bunny’s first picture was delivered by email. Whether they would be intelligent, challenged, or beautiful didn’t matter because they were my children.
Bunny was adopted from Guatemala, and we received our referral when she was 10 days old. Over the next months, we received a monthly report from our adoption agency, with updated pictures and medical records. When she was 3 ½ months old, we took our first trip to Guatemala City to visit with her. She was the tiniest baby, with a black swatch of hair standing straight up on her head. I tease her now because I thought she looked like a little monkey. A very beautiful little monkey.
A few months later, our paperwork was ready and the adoption finalized. Colby and I flew back to Guatemala to tackle the last of the USCIS paperwork and get her passport and visa. Early in the morning, our attorney picked us up at the hotel and we headed to the US Embassy.
There were two lines formed in front of the embassy gates. One was for US citizens, mainly made up of adopting parents with their babies, and the other line was made up of Guatemalans waiting to conduct business with United States.
The day was sunny and 72 degrees, but the line was endless. After waiting almost three hours, we were finally next in line. Standing next to us in the Guatemalan line was a well-dressed gentleman who spoke English. He asked if we were adopting, and after taking a second glance at Bunny, he said the strangest thing, “Oh. You have a pretty baby.” Well, of course we had a pretty baby. She was beautiful.
As our plane took off over Guatemala City, we realized what his words meant. Although it was a complement to our daughter’s beauty, the comment was a racial slur against the highland Indians of Guatemala. Bunny didn’t have a flat face and wide set eyes, and the implication the gentleman made was our child was from a higher level of the “caste system.”
Not coming from a country with a caste system, I didn’t understand how anyone could make such a backhanded compliment. But after years of working in Latin America, Colby learned that prejudice, racism, and judgment of one’s heritage were a daily event. I guess that shows how naïve I am when it comes to the color of someone’s skin, the shape of their nose, or the color of their eyes. Because to me, none of that matters.
My beautiful, little monkey turns six tomorrow. She is truly a beautiful child, although I am a bit prejudiced. As look at her, I am often reminded of the words of the Guatemalan gentleman…I guess prejudiced can come in different forms.
Happy Birthday, Bunny!
Photo Credit. Lanita M. 2005
