e-mail
It’s been almost a month since I last blogged here (in the Guatemala blog, that is), and a lot has happened in that time! Bear became a big brother once again, and now…Beauty is no longer the baby. She is a brand new big sister, and (mostly) excited and proud of said role.
We’ve had lots of interesting conversations around here lately. Beauty can’t always vocalize what she’s thinking as a result of some of her developmental delays, but her comprehension is excellent. Earlier today, Beauty and Bear had the following exchange:
Beauty: New baby?
Bear: Yup, her name is Bella.
Beauty: Ohhhh, new Bella. Guatemala?
Bear: Nope, she wasn’t born in Guatemala.
Beauty: Babies from Guatemala.
Bear: But not Bella.
Beauty: Babies from Guatemala.
Bear: Nuh-uh, not Bella.
This exchange left Beauty quite puzzled. And why shouldn’t it? I mean, why not think all babies are born in Guatemala? Beauty came from Guatemala, and Bear was already here, so logically (to Beauty) babies are born in Guatemala. It’s just that simple.
Later in the day, I had some one-on-one time with Beauty. I coaxed her (gently) into talking about Bella. In so many words, I gathered that she didn’t understand very well as to where Bella came from, why, and how. We took out a picture of M., Beauty’s birth mom, and talked about how Bear grew in mommy’s tummy and Beauty grew in M.’s tummy. Both Bear and Beauty now know R., Bella’s birth mom, fairly well (they’re pretty crazy about her, actually). I explained that while Beauty was born in M.’s tummy in Guatemala, Bella was born in R.’s tummy, not too far from our house. (Thankfully, Beauty knows that Guatemala is far from our house, so I didn’t have to break new ground with that conversation.)
Did she understand? I think so. Does she like being a big sister? Well, mostly…
Beauty, since the day she joined our family, has always idolized Bear. He is her big brother, her playmate, her partner in crime, her buddy, her best friend (and, okay, sometimes not her best friend). Bear is a bit enamored with Bella; he loves having a baby in the house and jumps to attend to her every need (or at least he tries to). Overall, Beauty is feeling, well, a little left out. So while she loves Bella and wants to give her kisses and cuddles, she’s not such a fan of Bear’s willingness to help out at a drop of a hat. She has weathered the transition like a champ, though, and when Bear is focused solely on playing with her, she’s the happiest sister in the world. A balance will come, although it hasn’t yet. We’re not even a month into being a family of five, and it’s been a lot for all of us to take in. I’m going to keep talking to Beauty–about Guatemala, about adoption, about her secure spot in the family as our sweet little girl, as a little sister, and as a big one–as much as possible while we adjust to our new schedules. And as we’re breaking new ground for our family, by staying focused on communication, we’re growing and learning a little more each day.
