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At 10:24 AM today–exactly three years ago today, in fact–Beauty made her way into the world and my life was forever changed. I didn’t know it then, of course. I actually didn’t even find out anything about Beauty until we received our referral eight days later. I was journaling steadily at the time, and I hunted back to see what I had done the very day of March 14, 2007. It was a calm day, a regular day. My husband and I ran errands with Bear (then ten and half months old) in tow. We went out to dinner. We watched a movie. A regular day in March. Who knew that it would wind up becoming one of the most important days in my life? I certainly didn’t.
Today, we spent the whole day celebrating Beauty. She wanted to “do something funny”, so we decided to go haul off into the city (of Chicago) and bear witness to the green river. She loves anything green (it’s her favorite color of the day, apparently) and loves checking out all the “bigs” (big buildings). We celebrated with pizza (her birthday dinner choice) and her favorite juice (apple grape). Her family party was last weekend, but we had cake, opened (more) gifts, and just had a wonderful day overall. I tucked her into bed as I do every night, and told her how amazing she is, how lucky I am to have her in my life, and how much I love her. So what if I got a little teary? I am forever in awe of my little girl.
This day, though, is and will always be a little bittersweet to me. I think a lot about M., Beauty’s birth mom. I think about what she might have felt and how emotionally (and physically) exhausted she probably was. While I love my chapina and can’t imagine a single moment of my day without her sweet smile, a part of me will always wish M. would’ve been the one able to share these moments. Don’t get me wrong–I think I am the luckiest mama ever to enjoy and cherish such a special little girl, but M. will always be her first mom. And that’s something bigger and greater than all the words and blogs in the world.
I’m emotional tonight as I tend to be on the kids’ birthdays, but even more so…a large piece of my heart is in Guatemala this evening. Even with distance and language barriers, M. inspires me every day to be the best mother I can possibly be; aside from my children, I have three heroes: my mother, Bella’s birth mom, and Beauty’s birth mom. I want so badly to be the kind of mother both of my girls’ birth moms want for their daughters. It’s the least I can do with so immense a gift, so great a blessing.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Beauty! You are loved so very much by so many people, and this is especially true of both of your moms.
Photo Credit: 2010. Courtney O.
